Summary: “A Theoretical Framework for Studying the Phenomenon of Gaslighting” (Klein, Wood & Bartz, 2025)
Prediction errors, fractured trust, and how to hold actual reality
Link to the full text/study here:
Read the paper >
Core idea:
Gaslighting is framed as a learning process rooted in how the brain handles prediction errors; those jolts we feel when what we expect doesn’t match what actually happens. The authors draw on multiple psychological theories (prediction error minimization, symbolic interactionism, attachment theory, self-verification, shared reality) to explain how gaslighting works, not just that it works. Understanding how something works is the first step to being far less vulnerable to it.
Key components:
Close relationships as epistemic leverage: Because we rely on trusted others to help us validate what’s real, gaslighters can exploit that trust.
Prediction error minimization (PEM): The victim expects consistency with their model of reality. When the gaslighter introduces contradictions, the brain experiences “prediction error.” Over time, repeated contradictions combined with blame-shifting distort the victim’s internal model of reality.
Erosion of epistemic confidence: With repeated gaslighting, the target begins to doubt their “priors” (their baseline assumptions) and is more likely to accept the manipulator’s version of events.
Distinguishing it from related phenomena: The authors correctly clarify how gaslighting differs from lying, misremembering, or common conflict. They emphasize its unique epistemic nature; it undermines the victim’s capacity to trust themselves. Quite literally, real gaslighting undermines the victim’s capacity to trust their own mind.
🟦 Quick Science Sidebar: Why Prediction Errors Matter
Our brains constantly predict what should happen next. Micro-moments like how a loved one usually reacts to good news or where a chair “should” be in the room.
When a trusted person acts in a way that breaks that prediction, the brain scrambles for an explanation.
A skilled gaslighter exploits that scramble to slide in their own explanation before you can slow down and check the facts.
The fix: slow the scramble. Pause, name the surprise, and keep a record.
Why this matters:
They’re offering a more mechanistic, testable model (versus older psychodynamic explanations), opening space for empirical work on “who’s vulnerable, when, and how to intervene.”
They also argue that anyone can be vulnerable, which is also accurate. It’s not about personal weakness so much as misplaced trust.
How to Lower Your Risk of Being Gaslit 🪞
Gaslighting isn’t about being weak.
It happens when someone weaponizes trust.
New research from McGill and the University of Toronto shows how it hijacks the brain’s prediction-error system:
When a trusted person does something that contradicts what we expect, our brain scrambles to explain the mismatch.
If they then tell us the confusion is our fault, we gradually start trusting their version of events more than our own.
Over time that chips away at what psychologists call epistemic confidence. The ability to believe our own perception.
That’s why gaslighting feels so destabilizing: it’s not just arguing about facts, it’s training your brain to override itself.
1. Pause before agreeing with a surprising claim.
Take a breath first.
A manipulator may call this “stalling” or “being defensive.”
In reality, you are slowing down that prediction-error loop so your brain does not default to their explanation.
2. Name what surprised you; out loud or in a journal.
We often project the good parts of ourselves onto others and assume they act in good faith. People forget that projection goes both ways: we can project the unhealthy parts of ourselves, yet we also, at least as often, project the healthy parts of ourselves.
That makes us excuse odd behavior or chalk it up to past trauma. Trauma may play a role, but it is rarely the full story.
Abusive people may call this “overthinking” or “making drama.”
You’re simply labeling the moment so it cannot be rewritten later.
Just keep an eye on whether your reaction is ego-driven. If it’s mostly pride getting poked, that’s a separate battle.
3. Separate facts from interpretations.
Write down what you saw or heard first, then what you felt or inferred second.
A gaslighter may say you are “ignoring context,” but this step actually preserves context. It keeps feelings from rewriting the raw event.
Write down what you saw or heard first, then what you felt or inferred second.
A gaslighter may say you’re “ignoring context,” but this step actually preserves context.
It keeps feelings from rewriting the raw event.
Example:
Once, I gave someone a quick congratulatory clap on the back in public.
The fact was simple: I clapped her back.She immediately turned and said, “Bro, I told you I’m not into impact play.”
In my mind, “impact play” was a private, bedroom-only term, and I thought she was joking the way I would.
I answered back in the same tone, which only made things worse.The interpretations that followed, hers about my intention and mine about her tone, turned one harmless gesture into a tense standoff.
Had I separated the raw action from the story I told myself about what she meant, I would have paused instead of reacting, and that misunderstanding would have been much harder to spiral or spin.
Looking back, I realize that one small misread moment set the tone for months of strain.
Even after I worked on myself in therapy, the pattern between us kept proving itself.
It taught me that sometimes what damages trust early can stay unresolved. Not always because of malice, but because when one party refuses to work on themselves, neither person’s story about the moment ever fully heals.
4. Check your memory with a neutral third source.
Examples: a text thread, a receipt, an unbiased friend’s recollection.
A manipulator may say you’re “dragging other people in.”
Often, they share only the parts that make them look good.
You’re not building a team against them; you’re protecting reality from selective storytelling.
5. Watch for patterns of blame-shifting.
Healthy people admit mistakes.
Gaslighters will say you are “stuck in the past” or “trying to hurt them” whenever you point out a pattern.
Patterns, over time, reveal whether behavior is accidental or deliberate.
6. Trust your body’s stress signals.
A manipulator may dismiss your tension as being “too sensitive” or “crazy.”
But long-term tightness in your chest, shrinking your opinions, or walking on eggshells around one person are valid warning signs.
7. Keep a written log if things feel off.
A gaslighter may say you are “keeping score” or “digging for ammo.”
It is neither.
If you tend to forget bad behavior because you want to see the best in people, a log becomes a memory safety-net that shows trends you would otherwise miss.
8. Reach out early.
Talk to a therapist or a trusted friend as soon as the pattern feels bigger than you can sort out alone.
If the other person agrees to therapy only “to clear the air” or refuses joint sessions, that often signals a focus on appearances instead of change.
🪞 Gaslighting thrives in silence and surprise.
Break the silence, slow the surprise, and you reclaim the driver’s seat of your own reality.
💾 Save-This-for-Later Checklist
Pause when surprised: pausing slows the brain’s prediction-error loop.
Separating facts from feelings keeps the record clean.
Break the silence early: isolation fuels distortion.
Pin or screenshot these three checks; they’re the core habits.
A note from me 📝
As someone who leans on research and data to explain human behavior, I have to be extremely careful not to accidentally make someone doubt their own perception.
Facts and studies are useful, but if I drop them into an emotional conversation without empathy, it can feel like I am trying to override their lived experience.
That is a softer form of the same prediction-error effect (replacing their felt reality with my explanation), and it can unintentionally mimic gaslighting.
So even the “rational ones” among us need to slow down, ask questions first, and make room for the other person’s sense of reality.
✨ Tell other people who could use these steps today.